Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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