I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
