YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
