It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.