Sry I called you an 8
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
