New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?