My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well