so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
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he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
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I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can you repeat that, but with context?