This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah