I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
