I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
