dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
