i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize