I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
