Please, let me fuck your mom
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Mom said you looked used
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize