it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize