All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize