i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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