he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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