Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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