There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
