If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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