Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
