he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
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There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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