Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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