that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
