he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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