I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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