bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Randomize
