I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
