I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
