the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
