The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
