Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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