btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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