we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
