My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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