Do vagina's smell?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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