You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They took my balls.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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