I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
