lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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