Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
