we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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