eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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