i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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