He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
