if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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