you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
