haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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