Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
