A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
