He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
