I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
