What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
