Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
