I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
