So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
