I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
