PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
