I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
