My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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