My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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