I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
