you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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